Direct from Mars and Venus, our sex columnists Zeina and Ziad get to the bottom of your most intimate questions. Got a problem? Email getnaked@timeoutbeirut.com

Q Dear Zeina and Ziad, Well, first of all I’d like to say that I really enjoy your column, it’s very educational. Here’s my problem: I am a 20 year old girl and I’ve never had sex before, but for a long time now it’s been all I can think about. Maybe I am crazy or obsessed, but for real I get turned on by the slightest thing. And just to get some satisfaction, I start reading books or novels talking about sex, or read articles in magazines, and watch Sex and the City. I really can’t share this with my family or friends, because some things can’t be shared with them. So it’s easier to tell a stranger, and in your case professional people.
Thanks in advance.
M.SH

A Zeina says... You’ve come to the right place. There’s a lot more to sexual satisfaction than reading sex columns or watching old episodes of Sex and the City. Masturbation is your new best friend, especially if you’re not ready to lose your V-plates just yet. Getting to know what turns you on will only enhance your future sex life, so get your hand down your knickers and release some of your sexual frustration (in healthy doses of course). And if you’re looking for some new ‘reading’ material, make sure to pick up a copy of ‘The Sexual Life of Catherine Millet’, recently translated into Arabic. Ziad says... I agree. Masturbation isn’t just for boys you know, and the world would be a much more horny and hostile place without it. Don’t be shy about how to start, or put pressure on yourself to cum; it’s your body to experiment with. If you’re really lost though, then head to the Internet - just remember to delete your history.

Q I am a Lebanese guy but I’ve lived outside of Leb my whole life, until nine months ago. I am a 28-year-old creative director, a humble fine ass guy, funny, spontaneous and sophisticated. I’m looking for a normal, funny Lebo girl to go out with, but I’ve never dated a Lebanese girl and it seems like a big challenge for me. For fucks sake, what do I need to do? I refuse to believe they are all superficial gold diggers and blah blah blah. I have a great sense of humour but sometimes I wonder if they get my Western sense of humour? It takes them time to get my jokes. I’ve dated some amazing fine ladies before overseas, but now I’ve used all my tricks and my weapons. I got some advice from the boys to date online, but it's just not my thing.

A Zeina says... Who are you really looking for? Someone to laugh at your jokes? Maybe it’s your arrogance that’s turning the ladies off. Ziad says... Just because the ‘fine ladies’ aren’t falling at your feet doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, or them. Maybe the fish pool is a little smaller, and the fish a little harder to please, but persevere – there are a lot of funny, intelligent Lebanese women out there (if only we had a GPS for them though!). And remember, you’re 28 now, maybe your expectations have changed without you realising? The best thing to do is to branch out: it’s always a good idea to enlarge your social circle when dates have dried up. Try some new pubs and clubs, or take up those friend-of-a-friend invitations you’d otherwise decline.

Q Dear Zeina and Ziad, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a very long time now (two years). We have a good sex life – pretty standard, but in a good way. But I keep facing the same problem over and over again. I know he likes oral sex, but I really, really hate it. I’ve never been able to. At first he was understanding, but now I’ve started to feel that two years is a really, really long time to go without.

A Zeina says... Have you ‘started to feel’ or has your boyfriend told you? Two years is a real make-or-break point in a relationship and that length of commitment often incites some feelings of restlessness, especially in the bedroom. There’s no harm in trying though.  If you absolutely can't, don’t beat yourself up. Just practice what your preach, and don’t expect oral sex from him on demand. Ziad says... Firstly, never say again that your sex life is ‘pretty standard’. That, and the lack of BJs, mean you might see your boyfriend running to the hills in the near future. Jokes aside, I have to admit that all guys just love it. But the worse thing in life is being on the receiving end (literally) of a BJ from a girl who’s just not that into it. So I say, if you don't think you'll ever enjoy giving it, don’t even go there.